Tangents and streams of conciousness

I'm back in Boston! Real life with actual meaning and you know goals and to do lists can once again commence! Yet the month of September is the most intimidating month ever, and I want to cry just looking at it.

Yet I am tooling around my apartment and putting off LSAT homework, so it's kind of like nothing has changed at all. I should be going to my storage unit and unloading it, but driving in Boston gives me anxiety. So instead of being productive, I'm sitting in my room having panic attacks and watching them board up our beach volleyball court which resembled a murky lagoon thanks to the rain. Actually I'm pretty sure there were new organisms growing there. (Has anyone else ever had to read the word organism aloud and been tempted to read orgasm? Because that was my greatest fear all throughout science class...No? Okay forget I mentioned it.)

Whilst in Savannah, GA I got sunburned for the third time of my life. Oh it is the most glorious sunburn that puts an end to all sunburns. It actually sometimes throbs. I stupidly assumed that being as dark as I am, that one coat of sunscreen was enough...and then I ended up pointing out how red my not-so-tan-aka-white(is that PC?!) friends were at the end of the day.

Karma apparently bit me in the ass. Because the next day, everyone was fine but me. My left shoulder resembles charred BBQ...it's quite attractive; unfortunately not scratch and sniff. I also had to spend part of the day in the airport with my giant backpack...despite the fact that even my bra strap and hair touching my shoulder made me wince and cry.

So my sunburn made me think of LIFE, as well as the day Kelly exploded. We get sunburned because we're stupid. It happens when we don't take precautions and use SPF 8 and NEVER REAPPLY. We peel and then we grow more skin, and thus the cycle repeats itself. The circle of life! Or well the circle of third party nearly self inflicted pain?

Okay maybe smart people/people who know what's good for them and don't follow this pattern, but I refuse to acknowledge them because then I get the jealousies. But seriously I always think that sunburn won't happen to me, because I take my melanin content for granted... The same way I think that I won't get hurt because I take my having no soul for granted; but before I know it I grow a soul, let someone in, don't apply SPF100 as need be, and then ALL MY SKIN PEELS OFF AND MY SHOULDER RESEMBLES A RAW STEAK, and then we get hurt. So I think the trick is to either:
1. stay inside and be a hermit
2. find spf1000 and reapply every 2 minutes...

I mean it's better to go out and frolic (wait frolic doesn't have a K!? revelation!) underneath that ball of heat than be a dumpy hermit.

This was a little more depressing than I intended. Actually I didn't intend on it to be depressing at all. Whoops. Here's something optimistic: I now own dinosaur silly bandz!

Lalala being neurotic

I never learn from my mistakes. I wonder if it's something I can attribute to being a Leo (whoohoo birthday month!), or if it's a mix of my own inherent stubbornness/stupidity/optimism. That's a weird mix of things to be grouped together,but I can't decide which is the overarching factor in my behavior.

For one I know I have an obsessive personality. Which is why I can't buy things at Costco and not waste money and why teriyaki chicken grosses me out. I used to make my dad buy boxes of these teriyaki skewers when I was little, I would refuse to eat anything else for months. OH MY GOD I'M PROBABLY GOING TO GET DIABETES FROM IT. Also I'm not allowed to have nice things...but that's different!

Actually from what I've absorbed in Drugs and Society, I most likely have an addictive personality. So if I try cocaine or heroin, I'm fucking screwed. Guess I won't be snorting lines off hookers anytime soon, or well ever actually...Disappointment!

There was the time I ended up in the ER due to drinking far too much alcohol. Did I learn from said mistake? No I went out the following night and got plastered. Hello alcoholism! But I attribute that to my trifecta of what I chalk up all my mistakes to: optimism(it'll be different this time), stubbornness(I'm right they're wrong obviously) and stupidity(whatever I do what I want!).

I like to think that it's my optimism and naivete that result into repeating all the same mistakes, because that's much easier to accept and admit than sheer stupidity. Hence what happened this week. I recognized that history was repeating itself, and that the same things were being said, but I assumed that it would be different, THIS TIME. This wasn't my belief in redemption going through, nor was it that lame there'sgoodineveryone crap.

It's due to me being stubborn and going against what everyone told me to do, INCLUDING MYSELF. Because I was so goddamn curious on what the outcome would be, yet I had an inkling on what it was.

Oh and I absolutely refuse to go and see Eat, Pray, Love; because I hate Elizabeth Gilbert and think the premise of a well off white woman eating carbs for the first time in her life is stupid.

My foray into blogging ROUND 2

Due to me being an idiot and well I'm just going to blame Internet malfunctions as well, I accidentally deleted my first two posts :(. I'm dying inside I know.

I started this blog against the protests of one of my friends whose sole purpose in life is to mentor me aka tells me how to function through my life endeavors. The only reason she gets to be my mentor (what a lame and mushy sounding word) guru (okay more awesome word) is because she shares the same name as Helen Keller's mentor and BFF, and let's face it, what was good enough for good ol' Helen is good enough for me. Now let's hope I become totally amazing and warrant a Wikipedia page (GOAL IN LIFE) since I picked Helen's BFF's name twin.

So due to my rebellious (I wish) nature, I created a blog. Thus doing so has made me become one of those people. This is how people felt when cell phones first came out. "What self important prick thinks they need to be in contact with everyone at EVERY hour of the day?!" Well, all of us apparently. Now it's "Who DOESN'T have a cellphone?! What are you a hermit?!" Yet hermits probably have cell phones too, but I don't know about their reception; hopefully they have Verizon(unless they are a hermit with an iPhone where I am jealous of the hermit but take satisfaction that they can't call anyone due to ATT being shitty). The homeless man at the Prudential T stop has like 3 cell phones, and I see him charging them there every day. Even my 10 year old cousin has a cell phone.

So before it gets to the point where the question becomes "Who doesn't have a blog?", I made one. I'm years late, but I'm not super late where little prepubescent beings invade blogspot and wordpresss. Since that spells the death of things. But I want to use this to segue into announcing I've never had a Myspace. Now that I think about it, I'm sure my cousin will pop up with a blog anytime now. She already has a Youtube channel where she makes her own music videos... I wish I was kidding.

We're in a society that loves being connected, hello the rise of Twitter and Facebook, and that stupid fail Microsoft phone the Kin. I'm someone with severe attention issues, so it naturally made sense for me to make a blog. Blame my parents for that issue. So I did have a blog when Livejournal ruled the blogging realm, which was during my formative angsty teenage years wheretheworldwasouttogetme.

I hope that this blog isn't just one of my phases though. I'm the type of person who gets obsessed with something, and I mean really obsessed, and then I lose interest. I think that's what they call ADD though, which I have been told I have by several people; but I'm pretty sure everyone in our generation has it. I do this with food, hobbies, people, sporting events, even colors.

When I was little I used to go to Costco with my dad. As everyone knows Costco's packages of food can feed villages for a year. I would pick out something, eat it for 2 weeks straight and then never want to touch it again. This happened with chicken teriyaki skewers and now I can't eat teriyaki anymore! Due to this tendency my dad canceled our Costco card and I was devastated, since Costco was my Disneyland (now replaced with IKEA!). But my Costco issue has been resolved since now I'm an executive member with my own card! I win dad!

And just like my first post, I've gone off 39482 tangents in one post. AWESOME. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm once again blaming my parents for this one. As with all my other life issues, like my abandonment ones.

self: YOU SUCK

Well due to insomnia and clicking around I deleted my first two blog posts. All I was able to recover was my post about Kelly's appendix bursting; I would have preferred my first post on being the retrievable one...since it was COMIC GOLD. Or well a rambling of mine that I thoroughly enjoyed.


Hello first misadventure since starting this blog. The interwebs, insomnia and my lack of reading ability have screwed me over. Yup law school is going to work out just dandy.

So tomorrow while I text Franco a play by play of the first 30 minutes of Netherlands v. Uruguay (where I will lie to him in order to entertain myself), I'll be trying to reconstruct them from my brain(NOT A SAFE PLACE).