Lalala being neurotic

I never learn from my mistakes. I wonder if it's something I can attribute to being a Leo (whoohoo birthday month!), or if it's a mix of my own inherent stubbornness/stupidity/optimism. That's a weird mix of things to be grouped together,but I can't decide which is the overarching factor in my behavior.

For one I know I have an obsessive personality. Which is why I can't buy things at Costco and not waste money and why teriyaki chicken grosses me out. I used to make my dad buy boxes of these teriyaki skewers when I was little, I would refuse to eat anything else for months. OH MY GOD I'M PROBABLY GOING TO GET DIABETES FROM IT. Also I'm not allowed to have nice things...but that's different!

Actually from what I've absorbed in Drugs and Society, I most likely have an addictive personality. So if I try cocaine or heroin, I'm fucking screwed. Guess I won't be snorting lines off hookers anytime soon, or well ever actually...Disappointment!

There was the time I ended up in the ER due to drinking far too much alcohol. Did I learn from said mistake? No I went out the following night and got plastered. Hello alcoholism! But I attribute that to my trifecta of what I chalk up all my mistakes to: optimism(it'll be different this time), stubbornness(I'm right they're wrong obviously) and stupidity(whatever I do what I want!).

I like to think that it's my optimism and naivete that result into repeating all the same mistakes, because that's much easier to accept and admit than sheer stupidity. Hence what happened this week. I recognized that history was repeating itself, and that the same things were being said, but I assumed that it would be different, THIS TIME. This wasn't my belief in redemption going through, nor was it that lame there'sgoodineveryone crap.

It's due to me being stubborn and going against what everyone told me to do, INCLUDING MYSELF. Because I was so goddamn curious on what the outcome would be, yet I had an inkling on what it was.

Oh and I absolutely refuse to go and see Eat, Pray, Love; because I hate Elizabeth Gilbert and think the premise of a well off white woman eating carbs for the first time in her life is stupid.