My amazing propensity for trouble

Sometimes (read: ALL THE TIME), I find myself in ass backwards situations that one shouldn't find themselves in. I have no idea how I get into these pickles (hate pickles ew), but I kind of secretly like them, because then I end up with fodder that I can regurgitate in social settings. Yes, that means I will tell you about the time I got a fish bone stuck in my throat which necessitated a little trip to the hospital at a party. (I'm a HIT at parties btw, invite me to all of yours) Clearly that doesn't happen to normal people.

Okay maybe that's not an example for my propensity for trouble, and rather an example of being an idiot, but whatever. I guess a more straight forward example of the trouble I get into is with the Irelands (2 boys 1 name...way better than 2 girls 1 cup) of my summer. Yes, I should stay away from anyone with an accent, but i'm an accent slut. It's awful and it's bad, and somehow I've met every single Irish boy in San Francisco, and oh my god why are there so many, and for the love of god whydoyouallknoweachother.

Anyway BACK ON TOPIC, if there was ever a topic to begin with...? I jokingly told someone they were trouble, and he said "What's the fun in living in god mode?That invulnerability and infinite ammo is pretty sweet for a little while, but you gotta have that challenge to keep the game interesting."


Oh man I hope he doesn't google this and find out that 1. I have a blog and 2. that I'm stealing his quotes for said blog.

I, like any normal person that isn't a total bore likes trouble. Trouble is fun, we do stupid shit that gets us into trouble because ultimately we believe the payout is worth it. We as people fucking revel in trouble. Those situations that we find ourselves in trouble, we rehash to anybody who'll listen to us about that "one time", because things like that are interesting and make us better. No I don't want to hear about how you took your dog on a walk and it was perfect, I want to hear about the time your dog got dognapped and you had to go to amateur stripper night to pay the ransom.

Trouble gives us something to talk about, look back on, and hopefully if we're smart learn from. Playing it safe is overrated. Okay maybe taking free shot coupons from the creepy Italian and following him into a place called Mood (where American girls go to get Taken) to redeem coupons, probably wasn't the best idea, but now it's hilarious in the retelling. And I can forever blame Annie for that one time she nearly got us kidnapped.

We're not getting out of this thing alive, so why not get into trouble (only the good kinds of trouble...like trouble with accents and a drinking problem) and really live? (Yes that's referring to those lame kids I had in my AP classes who were boring as fuck and glared at my friends and I for trying to have a good time whilst reading Moby Dick.) Clearly, I have grown out of my high school animosity for certain people...but I digress.

We're going through life, one way or another, we should take the time to BOTHER ourselves with quality trouble. Being vulnerable isn't fun and it's actually the feeling I hate the most, but being invulnerable gets old pretty fast and you're that statue that all birds poop on. I'd rather have a pigeon poop on me while I'm truly living, rather than a solitary marble structure that is pooped on.

Things I have realized while writing this: I'm pretty goddamn crass and should probably find more eloquent examples that don't involve pigeon poop...or any bodily excrement for that matter.